I am having difficulty writing this. Or at least I like to think that I used to be one. Also forgetting certain things about me or my life. This is one of the main things that gets to me. 3. we should raid politics to reclaim our land and make sure everybody can speak freely and not be hated on because of their opinions, oh, is that why you hate us/ because we think different? When that happens, there is no running to the bathroom because I cant move. Katrina O. Even driving to the psychiatrist's, I starting beating myself up for "wasting time." I should have been working. Not only has it repeatedly been proven to make you less productive, but over time, doing multiple things at once also physically shrinks parts of your brain. For more information, please see our FAQ. People react to me as though Im the loser I feel I am, and then I react in some sort of really unstable way and that seems to seal the deal. Topher N. I think this is related to both PTSD and anxiety. Get hand-picked resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox. I will become stubborn and start screaming and shouting if I dont get my way and get to a safe place. Any time these things happen in public and I have no control over my knee-jerk reaction. Alyssa C. Disassociating in public and mid-conversations. Lack of short-term memory. Now, my mind has atrophied into just about nothing. LGBT Youth Also, blocking my ears when out at social gatherings if people start talking about my triggers. Christine S. My (complex) PTSD stems from early loss and lifelong abuse. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Sometimes i do feel like spasms or when i think really hard i feel this pressure followed by lightheadedness. Its so embarrassing and horrible, having to walk home like that. Mainly so no one can walk up behind me. Nealey C. 2. Thinking That You're Smart Can Be Making You Stupid. People ask me to go see a movie and I have to awkwardly explain why I cant see the ones that arent for kids because of the possible subject matter. Being unable to connect sex or intimacy with love. I spent four hours trying to write an outline for a Latin paper and got like half a page of notes written. Why is is bad that we get all the power? But comparing yourself to others is rarely a winning strategy if you want to feel good about yourself. you kicked us out and we'll gladly kick you. Sometimes, when my mind wanders too much, I think I hear the crashing of the lightning and Ill cry. Aside, he is a fiction writer and editor from Northern Ireland, living with depression, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), trauma, and three beautiful cats. Dealing with a narcissists can have serious, Criticism is a part of life, for better or worse. If Self-Isolating Is Bad, Why Does It Feel So Right? As you continue to perform a false self, your resentment may start to leak out in the form of passive aggression, outright lying, and other unconscious ways to get back at others for all you are giving up for them, says Phipps. In fact, I was overdrawn. I have to turn the channel before I forget how to.. Archived post. Now. Now. When I listen to JJ I literally feel myself getting stupider. I forget new information almost instantly unless I really try hard to lock it down. I'm a graduating college senior that has been accepted to medical school, but over the course of the year I have felt as if I am getting less intelligent. Every time I walk in the doors and that smell hits me, I swear I stop dead in my tracks while Im reeling and trying to bring up my coping mechanisms. Mandi W. I had a really bad car accident; now I totally freak out with balloons. Society seems to privilege extroversion at almost every level the personal (Why arent you talking? Moving from the East Coast to the West Coast made me reassess my understanding of social interaction. Every part of me wishes I could respond, but it just doesnt work that way. Emily G. 10. Suicide.org is a 501c3 NON-PROFIT Organization and Website. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. If something triggers a memory to my trauma, I almost have no control over who I become. I'm seriously done. I'm kind of in the same boat. Learn how to spot mentally-draining friends and how to respond when it gets to be too much. It's all so daunting that it often discourages me from doing anything at all, but of course that makes me feel even worse, which further saps away any energy and motivation that I might have had. I'm so stupid!" I had just called the bank to find out why my debit card didn't work at the store and discovered that my idea of my account balance and my actual balance didn't sync up exactly. People are always saying, You dont remember this? I cant go anywhere by myself, not even the grocery store. I quickly realized that it was because I was deeply terrified of what I would see if I stopped, if I stayed home and waited for the invites to come to me. I hate it and I hate this fucking disease. Being on the ball is a very rare feeling, feel very unmovitated, and blunt as a rock. Im always scared that the building Im in is going to be destroyed, so I try to shield myself the best I can and I always feel so embarrassed. If you're looking for some information that's important to you (such as research for work or learning how to manage your money), then the advice here is to first write down the relevant keywords on a piece of paper to figure out exactly what you want, which will be a lot more efficient. 2022 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. And after all this, I feel calmer and less tired. "@waitbutwhy This explains why our brains are actually shrinking. Were we still friends when we were sober? hypocrites, no. My PTSD is from surviving a tornado. What does it mean to be stupid? I just need society to see me for who I am. Cookie Notice Those smaller hangouts never came, and I grew to realize that if I wanted to spend time with those people, I would have to be at the events they were already at. For research, treatments, and personal stories regarding Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME). So I began to set boundaries for myself: For every day of socializing, Id schedule a couple of days of recovery to do my own hobbies. This is what makes me feel like I suck at everything I try. Not that I'd had much extra cash in the first place. Isolation can be healing at times, especially for introverts, but it can also go too far. Ocassionally go to the gym. Do not give people the chance to be insensitive. Ive spent some time considering why I chase after people who only ever reach out to ask me to do something for them. In addition to . I am trying to meditate to clear my head and it works for a while. I was never the same after the first time i really experienced depression in my senior year of high school (2013). Its so embarrassing and horrible, having to walk home like that. Im an adult who has to be treated as a child at times Jay C. 21. What are you, stuck up? Its gotten to the point where I will tell people Im not here while staring right through them. Archived post. The other is that when it hits really bad, hard and fast,I revert to the child personality I had before the events that gave me PTSD. Visit Verywell Mind's homepage. An image tagged alcohol,emotional roller coaster,boxer getting punched in the face,disgusted face,poolitics,brain cells. Instead, I would plan around an event, using the day after to recover from various hangovers while also trying to rest, emotionally, from a day of performing friendliness. I had to learn how to accept what I enjoyed and didnt enjoy so I could communicate those boundaries to my friends and partner. If you or someone you know is suicidal, please go to the Home Page of this website for immediate help. Those closest to me are understanding, but when it happens and people dont know whats going on, its really frustrating to them. Privacy Policy. I mostly just go to work and go home and think about bills. but not until you are feeling stronger, and have worked through much of your grief. Its like my fear makes me act scary or ghastly in a way to protect myself. Diana P. If you or a loved one is affected by sexual abuse or assault and need help, call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area. What Does It Mean To Feel Dumb? Its like my fear makes me act scary or ghastly in a way to protect myself. Diana P. If you or a loved one is affected by sexual abuse or assault and need help, call the, National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline. 1. And people should not need to be told that basic fact. "Argh! However, if someone does make an ignorant, insensitive, or hurtful statement to you -- at any time -- speak up. #1 Or am I getting more and more grumpy? Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members. Appearing normal was destroying my life, and no one really noticed. There is definitely some stupid s#*# that gets a lot of likes over there. Background: I was never the same after the first time i really experienced depression in my senior year of high school (2013). I can only sit in certain places, especially in public. If youre looking for some information thats important to you (such as research for work or learning how to manage your money), then the advice here is to first write down the relevant keywords on a piece of paper to figure [], Below is the information about criterion collection movies on hbo max . I like to think of it as a collection of various fears and the physiological reactions to those fears. Later on, well after the shock wears off, and you are feeling better, you can work to reduce the stigma and confront ignorant people when they are insensitive about suicide -- Why am I getting "stupider"? Edit: Thank you so much for the responses! Try going a week or two without screens, besides what's absolutely required, and see if your thinking and memory becomes clearer. All rights reserved. Lack of short-term memory. I started this after I was sexually assaulted at 16, and I didnt feel I deserved to look attractive, or to be alive. Make a Meme Make a GIF Make a Chart Make a Demotivational Flip Through Images. After all, what is "stupid" if there isn't someone smart to compare yourself to? Suicide.org Suicide Survivors Forum - Click for Info! It also offers an insight into your stunning inner beauty just waiting to be discovered. Im an adult who has to be treated as a child at times Jay C. My PTSD is from surviving a tornado. I've been recently diagnosed with general anxiety, but I'm pretty sure that I've had it my whole life. I'm 4-5 on my current study (with spikes of even less) and I can literally feel myself . Answer (1 of 7): All I can do is tell you my own experience since I too had this absolutely frustrating problem. Extroversion affected my work life and my activism as well.